DP William Ruto to Release a Khaligraph Jones’ Diss Track

Ruto’s signature move.

Deputy President William Ruto is set is to release a Khaligraph Jones’ diss track after a spat on Instagram.

Ruto was extremely annoyed after Khaligraph blatantly refused his hand out on social media.

The award-winning rapper had requested Ruto’s help in getting the country opened and curfew abolished for sake of artists relying on events for sustenance.

In turn, the rapper would side with Ruto in the 2022 General Elections. On seeing a new pool of voters the DP was quick to Respond.

Ruto requested Khaligraph to organize with fellow creatives and meet him in his Hand-out headquarters in Karen.

The rapper declined this offer which angered Ruto. He couldn’t understand how someone can refuse his money.

“Who does he think he is? My audience is larger than his and he sure needs the exposure.

Ruto whenever his handouts are refused.

Rapping is not that special. I can do it better than he with my doctorate.” Ruto declared.

After this, he established a studio, in Karen, contracted one of Drake’s ghostwriters, and has been rehearsing since Monday night.

The lyric-jammed track is will be released before April ends.

When asked for a response Jones simply said, “Itakuwa ni mazishi!”

Mazishi hitmaker Khaligraph Jones

Anorexics Grateful For Ramadhan

Anorexics across the word have a reason to be happy this Ramadhan season.
Stigma around this condition this time of the year is at an all-time low and no one expects more from them.
“This works for Muslims only” one anorexic lamented.
Others who wish to benefit from this scheme in the future should convert to Islam,” she said.

Mightiest Prophet David Owuor to Build Mega Hospital After Failed Miracle

The self-proclaimed prophet

Self-proclaimed Prophet Dr. David Owour is set to build a mega-hospital after a failed healing miracle.


The 2000-bed hospital will be the biggest healthcare provider in East Africa, surpassing Kenyatta National Hospital with 200 beds.


Prophet Owour decided this after a failed healing stunt in Eldoret, Uasin Gishu.


He is reported to have tried healing several Corona patients in Moi Teaching and Referal Hospital.


A nurse gave him access to the ICU wings with the hope that he would cure her relative who was nearing death.

Did he really?


After three it was apparent that Owuor’s prayers were not effective against the virus drugs he had ordered the patients not to take.


The patients become more sickly and the prophet, who wore no PPE kits, also contracted the virus.


The nurse, a member of Owuor’s church, was later fired and the prophet was admitted to the VIP hospital section.


Gasping for air, the prophet told God to give him one more chance on this earth he would build the biggest hospital he could afford.


Owuor was released from the hospital a week after the prayer which he promptly made public.


Funds to build the church will be swindled from Owuor’s cult followers no matter the sweat spilled to earn it.
The location of the said hospital is yet to be disclosed.

Prophet Owuor with the proof that prayers don’t work


The self-declared mightiest prophet of God holds a Bachelor of Science degree and Masters of Genetics from the University of Nairobi and a Ph.D. in Molecular Genetics

How Mama Ngina Killed The Elephant in The Room

Elephant

A resident of Gatundu South is single-handedly responsible for poaching thousands of elephants for their ivory.

“By bullet and poison arrow the elephants are slaughtered to make billiard balls and piano keys, dedicated carvings, and tourist curios and to lie in the bank volts of the shrewd and the rich…” mentions New Scientist magazine.

The May 1975-issue mentioned how the lady used her husband’s influence to get affluence by a bullet by blood.

She and other high-profile government officials used state and private vehicles and planes to smuggle the ivory outside Kenya.

Mama Ngina and her stepdaughter, who was the first African female mayor, used Kenya Wildlife Service officers to commit the elephant genocide.

Elephants running for safety after hearing Mama Ngina’s name

The genocide saw the elephant population throughout Kenya reduce from 275,000 to 20,000 in two decades.

It is estimated that, in the 1970s, the Chairman of United Africa Corporation generated Ksh 800 million through the ivory trade.

UAC was the biggest ivory exporter for 10 years despite a ban that was in force.

Although elephant hunting was banned in 1973, UAC still operated a government-issued ivory export permit.

There was much scandal that is said to have caused the assassination of a Nyandarua resident JM.

That is how Mama Ngina poached the elephants in the rooms.

Dead elephant

Lord Abraham Mutai Wants Kenya Turned into Pedophile Nation

Popular city blogger not-so Lord Abraham Mutai has made public his wish for Kenya to be a pedophile nation.

In a post seen by Citizen 250Q, the blogger wants the consent age to be reduced to 14 years.

Not so lord Abraham Mutai

This was in response to the French National Assembly’s decision to lower the age of consent to 15 years.

Mutai could be heard wondering out loud why children admirers in Kenyan Parliament had not implemented such a law.

The Facebook post was pulled down minutes later but not before we acquired the receipts.

He also listed the top nine countries suitable for pedophiles’ vacations.

The countries consent age range from 12-16 years unlike Kenya where the age is a whopping 18years.

Had he enough time he would have posted a list of 76 countries in his pedo-travel blog.

The receipt
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