Moses Kuria to Refund Bribe Money to Parliament

Another politician has lied to the public in order to sanctify his corrupt behaviours.

Gatundu South MP Moses Kuria has said he will refund bribe money received in the precinct of parliament.

Speaking to BBC on Thursday, Kuria revealed he got Ksh100,000 to vote in Kipipiri MP Amos Kimunya as the majority leader.

“When the new Majority Leader was appointed we went to the majority leader’s office and received a USD 1000 gift,” he intimated.

He went ahead to state the obvious that bribery is not a new concept in Parliament.
“It is not uncommon in Kenya for members of parliament to be paid or compensated to vote in a particular way, especially when the government has an interest in a matter,”

He also lied he did not know the bribe was taxpayer’s money. The parliamentarian said he would refund the money to the office of the majority leader.

This is a PR move expected to fool common mwananchi into forgetting about millions misappropriated by Kuria and constituency officials.

“I have a hidden motive none of you will ever get to know.”
Kuria has state secrets that he continually reveals to push his own agenda and this is definitely not the last time he will reveal them.

Bodybuilder Drops Anal Plug While Doing Squats

Participants and spectators in the 2021 Olympia Bodybuilders contest were met with surprise after one of them dropped an anal plug while doing a squat.
The man identified as Jules was a top contender up until the silver plug fell from his boxers.
Jules withdrew from the contest thereafter.
“It was as if his sphincter muscles couldn’t take it anymore,” a laughing judge said.

Israeli PM Netanyahu Happy About Gaza Strip violence

Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu is a happy man after the escalation of violence in the Gaza strip region.
The recent wave of hostilities started a week ago after Israeli settlers tried to evict four families from the Sheikh Jarrah area.

“We’ll ensure no Palestinian in the occupied East Jerusalem will have a glimmer of hope.”

The PM military approach does not care about civilian casualties and has seen at least 35 Palestinians killed including 10 children

Netanyahu has used this chance to sweep his corruption and abuse of office cases under the rag. “The Israeli public is on my side, they have forgotten about the cases.”

The Israeli army has already bombed a building believed to house Palestinian group Hamas and has ongoing plans to bring down more buildings.

In retaliation, the Palestinian group Hamas fired 130 missiles towards southern Israel and Tel Aviv.

This is the fiercest fighting the region has seen in the past two decades. More than 500 rocket missiles have been fired since the violence started one week ago.

Govt to Secretly Move Kenya Somali Border

A high-placed source within Kenyan Government has disclosed plans to move the international border shared with Somalia.

The revelation came hours after Kenya banned flights to Somalia on Monday.

In a Notice to Airmen (Notam), the Kenya Civil Aviation Authority (KCAA) said flights departing for or arriving from Somalia will not be allowed for three months.

“The announcement was made just as Somalia’s President Mohamed Farmaajo was overflying Kenya on his way to Uganda to attend the inauguration of President Yoweri Museveni.

On Tuesday night the army will embark on a mission to move the Kenyan border inwards to Somalia.”

The source mentioned the move was in retaliation to an accusation that Kenya had occupied part of Somalia’s maritime.

“We’ll show them how we grab land in Kenya. They won’t know what hit them.”

Police Spokesman Charles Owino Reacts Angrily After Demotion

National Police Service (NPS) spokesman Charles Owino has been angered by the Inspector General’s decision to demote him.

Owino was demoted from a luxurious position in front of cameras and the public eye to deputy director of Kenya National Focal Point on Small Arms and Light Weapons (KNFP).

“This move is aimed at stifling my 2022 ambition to become Siaya’s Governor. My detractors have been funded by the current governor whom I investigated in an alleged murder case.I couldn’t be bribed with 50 shillings notes like my subordinates. I am worth millions.”

Owino said he will neither back down from the gubernatorial race nor resign from public office as required by the constitution for any political seat contestant.

“Even if they demote me I am still the police. We are above the law.”

His friends disclosed he will use his new position to save money for his campaign though he had been using his former position to skim cash from the top.

Owino’s rumoured successors include the current NPS deputy spokesman Charles Kosgey and Trans Nzoia County police commander Fredrick Ochieng,

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