Illiterate MCAs Passed Fake BBI Document

Push for a new referendum is in turmoil after it emerged illiterate MCAs from 30 counties passed the wrong document.

The Joint Justice and Legal Affairs Committee on April 20 revealed that only 13 counties passed the correct BBI bill.

“Most of us got to our offices using fake academic credentials, don’t be shocked to learn we are illiterate,” one MCA mentioned.

The fake document, clause 13 (B) references clause 3 of the bill while there is no clause 3 in Article 97 in question.

There is also an error in the marginal note that amends article 188, however, the substantive provision relates to article 189.

Experts say this is due to MCAs inability to read, understand and differentiate simple documents.

It also proves that none of them cared enough to read the BBI document.

43 counties had approved the bill after each MCA received a hand-out of Ksh 2 million disguised as car grant from President Uhuru.

Uhuru is set to give them an additional 3 million ‘car grant’ to sign correct document.

Christian God to Release Bible Version 2.0

The Christian God is set to release Bible version 2.0 by June.

This comes at a time when his words have been misinterpreted and misunderstood by most of his followers.

His anointed men have also been taking advantage of his physical absence and silence to amass personal wealth.

There has also been an increased number of hearsays in the religion for hundreds of years.

The new holy book will exclusively cater to man’s curiosity with questions such as: what is the meaning of life, why do we suffer, when will the world end, who created God, and how to satisfy a woman being answered.

God has been angry with most believers imagining him as a white-haired old man and will therefore publish a portrait of himself.

In the pictorial section, he will introduce his son and heavenly family. The book will be available in all languages and written in his handwriting.

All Christians and interested scholars are asked to be on the lookout for the new edition.

Bible 2.0 will force churches and clergy to adhere to tough tithe and offering regulations in a bid to curb plunder.

Guns Exposed by Citizen Journalist Were Wooden DCI Kinoti Says

Gun

Kinoti has come out to defend the police force after an exposé by Citizen’s Purity Mwambia.


DCI boss Kinoti denied that guns acquired by Citizen’s TV crew were leased out by police.


Speaking to scribes, he also mentioned that rogue officers exposed in the report were improv actors.


“We have established that all the culprits in the said video were actors wielding movie props not real guns,” his statement read.


“The toy guns were works of master carpenter whom we are working hard to identify and apprehend.”


He also mentioned that no officer in his right mind can lease out their uniform and guns because they already earn handsomely from abusing their power.


The sleuth indicated that any police who will be caught trading out their weapons will be issued with a rungu and a whip.


A exposé was aired on Monday detailing how police were selling weapons to help government upset loans owed to foreign nations and entities.


This was after realizing bribes collected from suffering Kenyans would not suffice in their good-will drive.

Hours later after Kinoti’s statement all administration officers attached to Royal Media Service CEO SK Macharia were withdrawn.

With Uhuru Out of the Country is it Time for Ruto to Invade the State House?


With Uhuru out of the country, Ruto must take action to occupy State House and set a foothold to stop any future opposition.

Uhuru is out of the country for a 2-day trip in Uganda attending the innoguration of President Museveni.

This is the chance that Deputy President Ruto has been praying for since the March 9th handshake.

Kenyans would sleep more peacefully knowing their country is in the hands of a more responsible person.

A hustler, who’s motivation is to ensure those around him have the biggest pieces of the pie while those in the grassroots level feast with their eyes.

80% of Kenyans are angry at Uhuru for undelivered promises, unending corruption, sky-rocketing debts, failing economy, curfew, and movement

They all wish they had seen the Jubilee party merchandise for the red flags that they were.

The only individuals who can have their cake and eat it

Seeds of discord have already been planted in the government by Raila Odinga, all Ruto has to do now is step up.

But first, he has to pay each Kenyan Ksh 1million or an acre from all the hectares he has grabbed.

Then and only then will we allow him to run this beautiful crumbling country.

With 2022 campaigns already murky he has no other clearer shot at State House than this.

The wheelbarrow army is ready.

Chad’s President Lead Soldiers to His Death

There was a sombre mood in purgatory after Chad’s President Idriss Déby led the country’s soldiers to his death.

Idriss was killed in the front line North of Chad only a day after his reelection.

According to the army, he died of wounds suffered on front line as country’s soldiers battled rebels.

Had the bullets missed him or his army and rebels not conspired against him, this would have been his sixth term in office.

Idriss had been in office for 30 years and the same media house that announced his victory on Monday announced his death on Tuesday.

Was democracy ever important in the Francophone country, the Speaker of Parliament would have taken over.

Just like in most African countries, where democracy is ‘applied’ but leadership roles are hereditary, his son General Mahamat Kaka will assume leadership.

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started